Blood Red Moon
by Chelseam2
Summary: The title says all. Review please.
1. Chapter 1

Gaara barges through the door, this list in hand, glaring ominously. "What is the meaning of this?" His cold voice is dark enough to vaporize all who step into his path, but not me.

I turn around, blinking, "What?"

"This...this list! 17 ways to annoy Gaara (plus other thoughts)!" He says darkly.

"Oh that..." I laugh nervously, "Where did you find that...?"

"Sasuke showed it to me. Something I can actually thank him for, for once." Gaara shoves it in my face, "Chelsea. I knew it was you, besides the fact that I'm your favorite character, you gotta big a better username than that to hide your identity!"

"Hey! There are plenty of other Chelsea's out there! How do you know it's me?"

Gaara stands up straight, "Because I know."

*Sigh* "Ok, it was me....but still....I'm gonna write more!!! Aw the look on your face is awesome!" I grab my new laptop. "Heheheheh."

*Sigh* Gaara walks out the door.

Kankuro gives him a funny look.

"What?! I can kill her anytime I want to!"

"I never said you couldn't, Gaara." Kankuro walks away, smiling.

I'm an annoyance to Gaara.

Random thoughts:

Author: "Hey, Sasuke, do you think Gaara can swim?"

Sasuke: "Uh...how am I suppose to know?"

Author: "I'll bet you can use one water technique and ALL that sand will melt away, leaving one little wet boy standing there."

Sasuke: "..." *Is writing it down in pocketbook for future use*

Author: "How do you kill Gaara of the Sand? Throw him in a pond."

Sasuke: "..."

Author: "So tell me, panda or racoon?"

Naruto: "PANDA!!!"

Author & Sasuke: "...."

Ok, well let's start on, 17 Ways to annoy Gaara.

Scream in his ear and RUN, FOREST, RUN!!!

Ask him why he's wearing a peanut on his back.

Try to eat it.

Read him a Lee-Gaara yaoi.

Record his reaction.

Quick, draw him eyebrows!

Tell everyone, in front of him, that he's allergic to sand.

Repeat everything he says.

Narrate everything he does.

Repeat his name over and over again and tell he finally says, "What?!"

(From #10) Just say 'hi'.

Go to another world, grab about a hundred fangirls, and turn 'em loose.

Give him a hug. He needs one!

Start laughing insanely.

Stare at him, unblinking.

Take a sharpie marker and erase those insomnia lines around his eyes.

Continuously bump into him, saying 'I didn't see you there' every single time.

Ask him to tell you his entire life story, at the end of it all, say 'What? I wasn't listening'

Ask him why he can't sleep, when he tells you why, ask 'why' again, and when he tells you the 'why' of that, ask him another 'why'. (And etc...)

Draw hearts on his gourd.

Call him 'Gaara of the funk' a few times. (I'll bet he doesn't even know what that word means)

Dye his sand pink.

Attempt to comb his hair.

Tickle him. (Is he ticklish...?)

Kiss him.

Read him this list.

* * *

I do not suggest you really do this, because the results won't be in your favor. Gaara may be able to tolerate a few things but...drawing on his face? Giving him a hug? Screaming in his ear? Trying to eat his gourd? I might as well hand you a death warrant and ask you to sign it! (And insurance policies don't cover demon-possessed kids ripping you limb from limb.)

~ Chelsea

P.S. To all of you who are going to try these... R.I.P.


	2. Chapter 2

Gaara barges through the door, this list in hand, glaring ominously. "What is the meaning of this?" His cold voice is dark enough to vaporize all who step into his path, but not me.

I turn around, blinking, "What?"

"This...this list! 17 ways to annoy Gaara (plus other thoughts)!" He says darkly.

"Oh that..." I laugh nervously, "Where did you find that...?"

"Sasuke showed it to me. Something I can actually thank him for, for once." Gaara shoves it in my face, "Chelsea. I knew it was you, besides the fact that I'm your favorite character, you gotta big a better username than that to hide your identity!"

"Hey! There are plenty of other Chelsea's out there! How do you know it's me?"

Gaara stands up straight, "Because I know."

*Sigh* "Ok, it was me....but still....I'm gonna write more!!! Aw the look on your face is awesome!" I grab my new laptop. "Heheheheh."

*Sigh* Gaara walks out the door.

Kankuro gives him a funny look.

"What?! I can kill her anytime I want to!"

"I never said you couldn't, Gaara." Kankuro walks away, smiling.

I'm an annoyance to Gaara.

Random thoughts:

Author: "Hey, Sasuke, do you think Gaara can swim?"

Sasuke: "Uh...how am I suppose to know?"

Author: "I'll bet you can use one water technique and ALL that sand will melt away, leaving one little wet boy standing there."

Sasuke: "..." *Is writing it down in pocketbook for future use*

Author: "How do you kill Gaara of the Sand? Throw him in a pond."

Sasuke: "..."

Author: "So tell me, panda or racoon?"

Naruto: "PANDA!!!"

Author & Sasuke: "...."

Ok, well let's start on, 17 Ways to annoy Gaara.

Scream in his ear and RUN, FOREST, RUN!!!

Ask him why he's wearing a peanut on his back.

Try to eat it.

Read him a Lee-Gaara yaoi.

Record his reaction.

Quick, draw him eyebrows!

Tell everyone, in front of him, that he's allergic to sand.

Repeat everything he says.

Narrate everything he does.

Repeat his name over and over again and tell he finally says, "What?!"

(From #10) Just say 'hi'.

Go to another world, grab about a hundred fangirls, and turn 'em loose.

Give him a hug. He needs one!

Start laughing insanely.

Stare at him, unblinking.

Take a sharpie marker and erase those insomnia lines around his eyes.

Continuously bump into him, saying 'I didn't see you there' every single time.

Ask him to tell you his entire life story, at the end of it all, say 'What? I wasn't listening'

Ask him why he can't sleep, when he tells you why, ask 'why' again, and when he tells you the 'why' of that, ask him another 'why'. (And etc...)

Draw hearts on his gourd.

Call him 'Gaara of the funk' a few times. (I'll bet he doesn't even know what that word means)

Dye his sand pink.

Attempt to comb his hair.

Tickle him. (Is he ticklish...?)

Kiss him.

Read him this list.

* * *

I do not suggest you really do this, because the results won't be in your favor. Gaara may be able to tolerate a few things but...drawing on his face? Giving him a hug? Screaming in his ear? Trying to eat his gourd? I might as well hand you a death warrant and ask you to sign it! (And insurance policies don't cover demon-possessed kids ripping you limb from limb.)

~ Chelsea

P.S. To all of you who are going to try these... R.I.P.


End file.
